this laws contains...
(Jeremy) Bernstein’s First Law
Jeremy Bernstein
All tests measure something.
(John F.) Kennedy’s Law
John F. Kennedy
Life is unfair.
(Nicholas Murry) Butler’s Observation
Nicholas M. Butler
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
(Sydney) Smith’s Secret
Sydney Smith
Digestion is the great secret of life.
(Teddy) Roosevelt’s Law
Theodore Roosevelt
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
Archilochus’s Distinction
Archilochus
The fox knows many things but the hedgehog knows one big thing.
Arnold’s Laws of Documentation
Arnold
1. If it should exist it doesn’t.
2. If it does exist it’s out of date.
3. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws.
2. If it does exist it’s out of date.
3. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws.
Beaumont and Fletcher’s Law
Francis Beaumont
Beggars must be no choosers.
Billings’s Second Law
Josh Billings
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.
Bouchier’s Columbus Principle
David Bouchier
Burns’s Law
Robert Burns
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.
Burton’s Rule
Robert Burton
No rule is so general which admits not some exception.
Caesar’s Maxims
Julius Caesar
Men readily believe what they want to believe.
As a rule, men’s minds are more deeply disturbed by what they do not see.
What we desire, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we expect others to think.
Chance, which means a great deal in all sorts of circumstances but especially in war, can effect great changes with a very slight shift of the balance.
Avoid a strange and unfamiliar word as you would a dangerous reef.
If you must break the law, do it only to seize power: in all other cases observe it.
Camus’s Regretful Conclusion
Albert Camus
Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his own face.
Capone’s Law
Al Capone
You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.
Carlyle’s First Law
Thomas Carlyle
The great law of culture is: let each become all that he was created capable of being.
Carlyle’s Second Law
Thomas Carlyle
Do the duty which lies nearest thee, which thou knowest to be a duty! The second duty will already have become clearer.
Cleaver’s Law
Eldridge Cleaver
You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.
Comins’s Law
David H. Comins
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
Costello’s Conclusion
David F. Costello
There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.
Dante’s Observation
Dante Alighieri
He listens well who takes notes.
de Stael’s Law
de Stael
To understand everything is to forgive everything.
Descartes’ Dictum
René Descartes
I think therefore I am (Cogito ergo sum).
Disraeli’s Second Law
Benjamin Disraeli
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
Eddington’s Theory
Anon
The number of different hypotheses erected to explain a given biological phenomenon is inversely proportional to available knowledge.
Emerson’s First Law
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do.
Euripides’ Second Law
Euripides
In this world second thoughts, it seems, are best.
Euripides’ Third Law
Euripides
The lucky person passes for a genius.
Finnegan’s Law
Anon
The further away the future is the better it looks.
Gerrold’s Law
David Gerrold
A little ignorance can go a long way.
Gilbert’s Law of Appearances
W. S. Gilbert
Things are seldom what they seem / Skim milk masquerades as cream.
Gummidge’s Law
Anon
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.
Haldeman’s Law
H. R. 'Bob' Haldeman
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s going to be very tough to get it back in.
Hobson’s Choice
Thomas Hobson
No real choice - that is Hobson’s choice or none.
Holmes’s Second Law
Sherlock Holmes
It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.
Irving’s Acute Observation
Washington Irving
A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use.
Ito’s Rules
Lance A. Ito
Rule 1. Be cautious, careful and when in doubt keep your mouth shut.
Rule 2. When tempted to say something, take a deep breath and refer to Rule 1.
Jefferson’s Ukase
Thomas Jefferson
Delay is preferable to error.
Kerr’s Law
Jean Kerr
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it’s just possible that you haven’t understood the situation.
Kissinger’s Law
Henry A. Kissinger
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
Koppett’s Observation
Leonard Koppett
A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true.
Liddell Hart’s Maxims
Basil Liddell-Hart
1. Adjust your end to your means - in effect don’t bite off more than you can chew.
2. Keep your objective always in mind, adapting plans to circumstances, remembering that there are more ways than one of gaining an objective and making sure that attainment of intermediate objectives is worthwhile. “To wander down a side-track is bad but to reach a dead end is worse.”
3. Choose the line (or course) of least expectation i.e. put yourself in your opponent’s shoes and take the line of action that he (or she) is least likely to foresee or forestall.
4. Exploit the line of least resistance - providing of course that it leads toward your ultimate objective.
5. Pursue a line of operation that offers alternate objectives. Your opponent will not be sure which objective to defend most strongly and you will have a better chance of gaining at least one of them - whichever he (or she) guards least - and perhaps of achieving one after the other.
6. Make sure that your plans and dispositions of forces are flexible. Any plan should provide for a next step quickly carried out in case of success or failure or - the more common outcome in war - partial success. (See also Publilius’s Maxims no. 469.)
7. Do not throw your weight into an offensive while your opponent is on guard. Unless the enemy is much inferior in strength, wait until his (or her) power of resistance or evasion is paralysed by disorganisation and demoralisation before making a real attack.
8. Do not renew an attack along the same line or in the same manner after it has once failed. Bringing up reinforcements is not enough since the enemy is likely to do the same and his (or her) success in repulsing you will have strengthened his (or her) morale.
2. Keep your objective always in mind, adapting plans to circumstances, remembering that there are more ways than one of gaining an objective and making sure that attainment of intermediate objectives is worthwhile. “To wander down a side-track is bad but to reach a dead end is worse.”
3. Choose the line (or course) of least expectation i.e. put yourself in your opponent’s shoes and take the line of action that he (or she) is least likely to foresee or forestall.
4. Exploit the line of least resistance - providing of course that it leads toward your ultimate objective.
5. Pursue a line of operation that offers alternate objectives. Your opponent will not be sure which objective to defend most strongly and you will have a better chance of gaining at least one of them - whichever he (or she) guards least - and perhaps of achieving one after the other.
6. Make sure that your plans and dispositions of forces are flexible. Any plan should provide for a next step quickly carried out in case of success or failure or - the more common outcome in war - partial success. (See also Publilius’s Maxims no. 469.)
7. Do not throw your weight into an offensive while your opponent is on guard. Unless the enemy is much inferior in strength, wait until his (or her) power of resistance or evasion is paralysed by disorganisation and demoralisation before making a real attack.
8. Do not renew an attack along the same line or in the same manner after it has once failed. Bringing up reinforcements is not enough since the enemy is likely to do the same and his (or her) success in repulsing you will have strengthened his (or her) morale.
Maugham’s Law
W. Somerset Maugham
You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
McGeary’s Law
W. R. McGeary
The more noise a man or a motor makes, the less power there is available.
Mencken’s Second Law
H. L. Mencken
Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.
Montaigne’s Law
Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
Morton’s Fork
John Morton
Rich or poor, the government will get your money.
Mrs. Parkinson’s Law
Anon
Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which it can pass only to a cooler mind.
O’Malley’s Observation
Austin O'Malley
When there is a choice of two evils, most men take both.
Osler’s Law
William Osler
The greater the ignorance, the greater the dogmatism.
Parkinson’s Fourth Law
Cyril Northcote Parkinson
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
Parkinson’s Law of Triviality
Cyril Northcote Parkinson
The time spent on any item of the [meeting] agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved. Thus a £10 million-project may be approved in two-and-one-half minutes, while an expenditure of £2,350 - a much easier sum to comprehend for a much smaller item, something easier to visualise - will be debated for an hour and a quarter, then deferred for decision to the next meeting pending the gathering of more information.
Pascal’s Law
Blaise Pascal
The greater the intellect one has, the more originality one finds in men. Ordinary persons find no differences between men.
Peers’ Law
John Peers
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
Powell’s Rules
Colin L. Powell
- It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
- Get mad then get over it.
- Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls your ego goes with it.
- It can be done!
- Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
- Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
- You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.
- Check small things.
- Share credit.
- Remain calm. Be kind.
- Have a vision. Be demanding.
- Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
- Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
Quintilian’s Law
Quintilian
A liar should have a good memory.
Rosten’s Other Laws
Leo Rosten
1. Thinking is harder work than hard work.
2. The love of money is the source of an enormous amount of good; the fact that the good is a by-product of the selfish pursuit of riches has nothing to do with its indisputable value.
3. Most people confuse complexity with profundity; an opaque prose with deep meaning. But the greatest ideas have been expressed clearly.
4. Most men never mature; they simply grow taller (quoted in Saturday ReviewApril 4th 1970).
Rudin’s Law
S.A. Rudin
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Russell’s Conclusion
Bertrand Russell
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatsoever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.
Saki’s First Law
H. H. Munro
Women and elephants never forget an injury.
Schiller’s Dictum
Friedrich von Schiller
Anyone taken as an individual is tolerably sensible and reasonable - as a member of a crowd, he at once becomes a blockhead.
Segal’s Law
Anon
A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
Seits’s Law of Higher Education
Louis D. Rubin
The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.
Senator Sorghum’s Laws of Politics
Sorghum
Politics is the art of turning influence into affluence.
Every practical politician should frankly confess to a profound respect for money, for he is a bad workman who quarrels with his tools. (See also Bacon’s Law and Clinton’s Law of Politics.)
A good memory is often a great help, but knowing just when to forget things sometimes counts for more.
Anybody can keep a promise, but it sometimes requires an artist to break one.
Never do anything that popular opinion and your own sense of right do not approve. Hire someone else to do it.
Occasionally a reputation for great wisdom is obtained by doing absolutely nothing and thereby avoiding mistakes. Corollary: It is safer to be criticised for not doing anything than it is to be blamed for doing something badly. (See also Jefferson’s Ukase and Byron Johnson’s Laws of Bureaucratic Success.)
Don’t complain that you are not getting what you deserve. Your impressions in such matters may be misleading. If you saw what you deserve coming, maybe you would dodge. (See also De Maistre’s Law.)
When in doubt for an argument, turn to statistics. They sound wise and very few people will do the arithmetic necessary to contradict you. (See also the last of the epigrams under Disraeli’s Second Law.)
Shakespeare’s First Law
William Shakespeare
There’s small choice in rotten apples.
Shakespeare’s Third Law
William Shakespeare
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Spock’s Law
Benjamin Spock
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
Staples’s First Law of the Universe
Brent Staples
Evil and stupidity are randomly distributed.
Sterne’s Law
Laurence Sterne
The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
Sturgeon’s Law
Theodore Sturgeon
Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Swift’s First Law
Jonathan Swift
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
Tacitus’s Laws
Cornelius Tacitus
The unknown always passes for the marvelous (Agricola).
It is human nature to hate the man whom you have injured (Agricola).
It has been thought more pious and reverential to believe in the actions of the gods than to inquire about them (Germania).
The desire for glory clings even to the best men longer than any other passion (Histories).
The gods are on the side of the stronger (Histories).
Wrongs done to the gods are the gods’ concern (Annals).
Laws were most numerous when the commonwealth was most corrupt (Annals).
There is some injustice in every great precedent which though injurious to individuals has its compensation in the public advantage (Annals).
More faults are often committed while we are trying to oblige than while we are giving offence (Annals).
The Dixon Effect
John Allen Paulos
If you make enough predictions a few are bound to be correct. The hits are likely to be remembered, the misses forgotten, and you will win fame and possibly fortune as a forecaster of the future.
Thurber’s Morals
James Thurber
It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers
(’The Scotty Who Knew Too Much’).
(’The Scotty Who Knew Too Much’).
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward
(’The Bear Who Let It Alone’).
(’The Bear Who Let It Alone’).
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead
(’The Shrike and the Chipmunks’).
(’The Shrike and the Chipmunks’).
There is no safety in numbers or in anything else
(’The Fairly Intelligent Fly’).
(’The Fairly Intelligent Fly’).
Udall’s Law
Morris K. Udall
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it’s wrong.
Ulmann’s Razor
Mitchell Ulmann
When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.
Valéry’s Law
Paul Valéry
That which has always been accepted by everyone everywhere is almost certain to be false.
Van der Post’s Observation
Laurens van der Post
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.
Vanbrugh’s Second Law
John Vanbrugh
He laughs best who laughs last.
Webster’s Axiom
John Webster
‘Tis better to be fortunate than wise.
Wells’s First Law
H. G. Wells
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Wharton’s Law
Andy Ihnatko
If you were forced to read the book in high school, you’ll probably hate the movie too.
White’s Second Rule
E. B. White
Never hurry and never worry!
Wilcox’s Law
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Laugh and the world laughs with you; / Weep and you weep alone.
Wilder’s Law
Billy Wilder
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
Wittgenstein’s Law
Ludwig Wittgenstein
Of that which nothing is known, nothing can be said.
Xenophanes’s Law
Xenophanes
It takes a wise man to recognise a wise man.
Young’s Law
Edward Young
Procrastination is the thief of time.
Abbott’s Admonitions
Charles C. Abbott
1. If you have to ask, you’re not entitled to know.
2. If you don’t like the answer, you shouldn’t have asked the question.
Addison’s Law
Joseph Addison
He who hesitates is lost.
Aesop’s Adages
Aesop
Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything (’Juno and the Peacock’). A half a millenium later, the Roman poet Virgil put it this way in his Eclogues: “We cannot all do all things.”
Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched (’The Milkmaid and Her Pail’).
Familiarity breeds contempt (’The Fox and the Lion’). Later authorities on human nature also have amended this one. Thus Mark Twain held that “Familiarity breeds contempt … and children” (Notebooks) while Goodman Ace noted that “Familiarity breeds attempt.”
The gods help them that help themselves (’Hercules and the Waggoner’). This has been repeated with slight variations by others including Aeschylus (”God loves to help him who strives to help himself”) and Ben Franklin (”God helps those who help themselves”).
It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow (’The Ant and the Grasshopper’). This message also appears in the Bible: “Go to the ant thou sluggard; consider her ways and be wise: Which having no guide overseer or ruler Provideth her meat in the summer and gathereth her food in the harvest” (Proverbs 6:6-8).
Slow and steady wins the race (’The Hare and the Tortoise’). Or, as Samuel Johnson phrased it in Rasselas: “Great works are performed not by strength but by endurance.”
The smaller the mind, the greater the conceit (’The Gnat and the Bull’).
United we stand divided we fall (’The Four Oxen and the Lion’). Benjamin Franklin embellished this thought when he warned his colleagues at the signing of the Declaration of Independence: “We must indeed all hang together or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” (This was in reply to John Hancock’s comment that “It is too late to pull different ways; the members of the Continental Congress must hang together.”) Abraham Lincoln came closer to Aesop’s original formulation with “A house divided against itself cannot stand” (speech, June 16th 1858).
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified (’The Old Man and Death’). Oscar Wilde expressed the same thought in An Ideal Husband: “When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.”
Agnes Allen’s Law
Agnes Allen
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Allison’s Precept
Graham Allison
The best simple-minded text of expertise in a particular area is an ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that area.
Bartz’s Law of Hokey Horsepuckery
Wayne R. Bartz
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.
Beaumarchais’s Law
Pierre-Augustin Beaumarchais
To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness.
Bill Gates’ Rules for Spoiled Teenagers
Editor
Rule 1
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Rule 2
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Rule 6
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Boultbee’s Criterion
Arthur H. Boultbee
If the converse of a statement is absurd the original statement is an insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.
Burns’s Balance
Anon
If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren’t likely to be very good.
Clopton’s Law
Richard Clopton
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
Cutler Webster’s Law
Anon
There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.
Donsen’s Law
Anon
The specialist learns more and more about less and less, until finally he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more, until finally he knows nothing about everything.
Dunne’s Law
John Gregory Dunne
The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with equivocation.
Durant’s Discovery
Will Durant
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and a clever thing to say.
Forrester’s Laws
Jay W. Forrester
1. In complicated situations, efforts to improve things often tend to make them worse, sometimes much worse, on occasions calamitous.
2. In a complex social system the obvious commonsense solution to a problem will turn out to be wrong most of the time.
Lynn’s Observation on Religious Belief
Richard Lynn
Clever people are atheists. Cleverer people aren’t.
Murdoch’s Law of Patent Protection
Editor
Patents give you the right to sue; they don’t give you the money to sue.
Pruett’s Law of Perversity
Jim Pruett
Things hate people.
Stendahl’s Laws of Interfaith Dialogue
Krister Stendahl
1. When you are trying to understand another religion, you should ask the adherents of that religion and not its enemies.
2. Don’t compare your best to their worst.
3. Leave room for ‘holy envy’.
The Rule of Accuracy
Anon
When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
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