this laws contains...
(Babe) Paley’s Law
Barbara 'Babe' Paley
You can never be too skinny or too rich.
Bacon’s Law
Francis Bacon
Money is like muck not good except it be spread.
Bronfman’s Law of Accumulation
Edgar Bronfman
To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable.
Dewdney’s Law of Zero Return
A. K. Dewdney
Return on investment equals loss due to inflation plus taxes . . . which equals zero.
Galbraith’s First Law
John Kenneth Galbraith
The greater the wealth the thicker will be the dirt.
Gresham’s Law
Thomas Gresham
Bad money drives out good - meaning that debased or underweight coins will drive good money out of circulation as people squirrel away the more valuable coins in mattresses and other hiding places.
Haight’s Brokerage Law
Keith Haight
When the market is stable it is a good time to buy, but when it is going up, buy quickly to catch the rising tide. When the market is going down, however, it is a good time to buy, as it will soon turn up. When it has been going down for some time (”crash” is a nasty word, not to be used) it must be at the bottom, and can only go up so BUY BUY BUY. Bye-bye!
Kipling’s Law of Blackmail
Rudyard Kipling
If once you have paid him the Dane-geld / You never get rid of the Dane.
Micawber’s First Law
Charles Dickens
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
Midas’s Law
John Updike
Molière’s Law
Jean Baptiste Poquelin
Things are only worth what you make them worth.
Morton’s Fork
John Morton
Rich or poor, the government will get your money.
Parkinson’s Second Law
Cyril Northcote Parkinson
Expenditure rises to meet income.
Rose’s Rule
Billy Rose
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.
Rosten’s Other Laws
Leo Rosten
1. Thinking is harder work than hard work.
2. The love of money is the source of an enormous amount of good; the fact that the good is a by-product of the selfish pursuit of riches has nothing to do with its indisputable value.
3. Most people confuse complexity with profundity; an opaque prose with deep meaning. But the greatest ideas have been expressed clearly.
4. Most men never mature; they simply grow taller (quoted in Saturday ReviewApril 4th 1970).
Runyon’s First Law
Damon Runyon
All life is 6 to 5 against.
Runyon’s Second Law
Damon Runyon
The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong - but that’s the way to bet.
Slim’s Rule
Thomas Austin Preston Jr.
Look around the table. If you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.
Sterne’s Law
Laurence Sterne
The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
Sutton’s Law
Willie Sutton
[In answer to the question "Why do you rob banks?"] That’s where the money is.
Sweet P’s Rule
Sweet P
Nobody plays nobody for big stakes.
Algren’s Laws
Nelson Algren
Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
Bill Gates’ Rules for Spoiled Teenagers
Editor
Rule 1
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Rule 2
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Rule 6
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Diogenes’s First Dictum
Anon
The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.
Diogenes’s Second Dictum
Anon
If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.
Donohue’s Law
Joseph Donohue
What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.
Flip Wilson’s Law
Anon
You can’t expect to win the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine.
Forbes’s Law
Malcolm S. Forbes
Money isn’t everything as long as you have enough.
Ford’s Commandment
Henry Ford
Use it or lose it.
Pardoe’s Law of Lending
Julian Pardoe
Never lend money to anyone. It gives them amnesia.
Rogers’s Laws
Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else (Illiterate Digest, a collection of his newspaper columns 1924).
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that’s out always looks the best(Illiterate Digest).
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr (Illiterate Digest).
When you straddle a thing, it takes a long time to explain it (Convention Articles, June 29th 1924).
You know, everybody is ignorant only on different subjects (Weekly Articles, August 31st 1924).
Heroing is one of the shortest lived professions there is (Weekly Articles, July 17th 1928).
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight (Daily Telegrams, August 11th 1929).
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up then sell it. If it don’t go up don’t buy it (Daily Telegrams, October 31st 1929). Note the date: this was the Thursday after Black Tuesday, the day of the great Wall Street crash that presaged the Depression of the 1930s.
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way (Daily Telegrams, December 22nd 1929).
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save (letter New York Times, April 29th 1930).
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with nowadays (Daily Telegrams, June 28th 1931).
You can’t make a dollar without taking it from somebody (Weekly Articles, October 2nd 1932).
If I don’t see things your way, well, why should I? (Weekly Articles, December 18th 1932).
The ECJ’s Law of Biscuits and Cakes
Anon
A biscuit takes up moisture when it goes stale and becomes limp; a cake loses moisture and becomes hard.
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