this laws contains.....
(Eleanor) Roosevelt’s First Law
Eleanor Roosevelt
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
(Hiram) Johnson’s Law
Hiram Johnson
The first casualty when war comes is truth.
(William) Paley’s Law
William S. Paley
White lies always introduce others of a darker complexion.
Beaumont and Fletcher’s Law
Francis Beaumont
Beggars must be no choosers.
Beerbohm’s Second Law
Max Beerbohm
Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.
Billings’s First Law
Josh Billings
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
Billings’s Third Law
Josh Billings
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of demand.
Cameron’s Rule of Etiquette
Simon Cameron
You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
Camus’s Regretful Conclusion
Albert Camus
Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his own face.
Carlyle’s Second Law
Thomas Carlyle
Fitzsimmons’s Law
Robert Fitzsimmons
The bigger they come, the harder they fall.
Gilbert’s Law of Appearances
W. S. Gilbert
Things are seldom what they seem / Skim milk masquerades as cream.
Goldsmith’s Law
Oliver Goldsmith
Silence gives consent.
Haldeman’s Law
H. R. 'Bob' Haldeman
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s going to be very tough to get it back in.
Laingren’s Law
Bruce Laingren
Human beings are like tea bags. You don’t know your own strength until you get into hot water.
Luce’s Law
Clare Booth Luce
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Marx’s Third Law
Karl Marx
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
McGeary’s Law
W. R. McGeary
The more noise a man or a motor makes, the less power there is available.
McLaughry’s Law
James McLaughry
To make an enemy, do someone a favour.
Mencken’s Law of Social Reform
H. L. Mencken
Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretence of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
Mitchell’s Law
John N. Mitchell
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Pym’s Law
John Pym
Actions speak louder than words.
Quintilian’s Law
Quintilian
A liar should have a good memory.
Runyon’s First Law
Damon Runyon
All life is 6 to 5 against.
Russell’s Conclusion
Bertrand Russell
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatsoever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.
Schiller’s Dictum
Friedrich von Schiller
Anyone taken as an individual is tolerably sensible and reasonable - as a member of a crowd, he at once becomes a blockhead.
Scott’s Law
Mike Scott
In order to win 24 games, you have to win 18.
Senator Sorghum’s Laws of Politics
Sorghum
Politics is the art of turning influence into affluence.
Every practical politician should frankly confess to a profound respect for money, for he is a bad workman who quarrels with his tools. (See also Bacon’s Law and Clinton’s Law of Politics.)
A good memory is often a great help, but knowing just when to forget things sometimes counts for more.
Anybody can keep a promise, but it sometimes requires an artist to break one.
Never do anything that popular opinion and your own sense of right do not approve. Hire someone else to do it.
Occasionally a reputation for great wisdom is obtained by doing absolutely nothing and thereby avoiding mistakes. Corollary: It is safer to be criticised for not doing anything than it is to be blamed for doing something badly. (See also Jefferson’s Ukase and Byron Johnson’s Laws of Bureaucratic Success.)
Don’t complain that you are not getting what you deserve. Your impressions in such matters may be misleading. If you saw what you deserve coming, maybe you would dodge. (See also De Maistre’s Law.)
When in doubt for an argument, turn to statistics. They sound wise and very few people will do the arithmetic necessary to contradict you. (See also the last of the epigrams under Disraeli’s Second Law.)
Swanson’s Law
Claude Swanson
When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.
Ulmann’s Razor
Mitchell Ulmann
When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.
Updike’s Observation
John Updike
One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore, for instance, and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.
Van der Post’s Observation
Laurens van der Post
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.
Virgil’s Law
Virgil
Fear Greeks, even when they bring gifts.
Walpole’s Law
Robert Walpole
Every man has his price.
Washington’s Maxim
George Washington
I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs that honesty is the best policy.
Watts’s Law
Isaac Watts
Idle hands make mischief.
Whitton’s Law
Charlotte Whitton
Whatever women do, they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
Wycherley’s Law
William Wycherley
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Young’s Law
Edward Young
Procrastination is the thief of time.
Beaumarchais’s Law
Pierre-Augustin Beaumarchais
To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness.
Bill Babcock’s Law
A. H. Weiler
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.
Bill Gates’ Rules for Spoiled Teenagers
Editor
Rule 1
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Rule 2
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Rule 6
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Clopton’s Law
Richard Clopton
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
Clyde’s Law
Clyde F. Adams
If you have something to do and you put it off for long enough, the chances are someone else will do it for you.
Deek’s Law of Busy Work
Editor
Busy work makes more busy work
Diogenes’s Second Dictum
Anon
If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.
Dunne’s Law
John Gregory Dunne
The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with equivocation.
Emerson’s Insight
Ralph Waldo Emerson
That which we call sin in others is experimentation for us.
Franklin’s Law
Gene Franklin
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.
Liddle’s Law of Corporate Bigotry
Rod Liddle
The more politically correct an organisation, the more likely it is to be staffed at the top exclusively by self-flagellating white liberals.
Martial’s Law
Anon
Conceal a flaw and the world will imagine the worst.
May’s Law of Male Present-Giving
James May
Nothing with a plug on it, nothing worn directly next to the skin, no clothing that will turn out to be too small rather than too big, and nothing that you actually want for yourself and are trying to disguise as a gift, such as a shotgun.
Quelch’s Laws of Executive Hubris
John Quelch
When taxi drivers know the name of a FTSE boss it’s a bad sign.
Res ipsa loquitur
Editor
The ex-councillor from Blackburn, now (and for the time being still) Lord Taylor, may not be familiar with the legal concept ‘res ipsa loquitur’, despite all his ermine . It means ‘things speak for themselves’. However much he huffs and puffs about the injustice of the Sunday Times’s allegations, the recordings of his conversation with the newspaper’s reporters make everything quite clear. One hundred thousand pounds is, apparently, cheap at the price for his services. If ever there was a modern example of Thoreau’s Ruling this is it. The ignoble Lord should be stripped of his title and forced to repay his immoral earnings to the taxpayer.
Rickey’s Law
Branch Rickey
Luck is the residue of design.
Ringer’s Rule
Robert J. Ringer
The results a person obtains are inversely proportional to the degree to which the person is intimidated.
Stuff his mouth with gold
Editor
Those clamouring for the government to stop paying Sir Fred Goodwin his £690,000 p.a. pension and, in the words of John Prescott (himself the beneficiary of a handsome taxpayer-funded pension), “let him sue”, shoud remember Louis Brandeis’s law. Goodwin’s greed may be sickening, his lack of shame unfathomable, his hubris inexplicable, but one thing’s for sure: the rule of law is worth a lot more than whatever he receives. Goodwin’s contract should be honoured. Stuff his mouth with gold.
The First Law of Expert Advice
Anon
Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
Truman’s Third Law
Harry S. Truman
Nobody, not even the President of the United States, can approach too close to a skunk in skunk territory and expect to get anything out of it except a bad smell.
Twain’s Second Law
Mark Twain
To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Vidal’s Law
Gore Vidal
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
Wilde’s Other Laws
Oscar Wilde
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal (The Critic as Artist 1891).
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about (The Picture of Dorian Gray 1891).
A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies (Ibid.).
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it (Ibid.).
If one tells the truth, one is sure sooner or later to be found out (Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young 1894).
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his (Ibid.).
In matters of great importance, style not sincerity is the vital thing (Ibid.).
Do the duty which lies nearest thee, which thou knowest to be a duty! The second duty will already have become clearer.
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