- this laws contain.......
Truman’s Third Law
Harry S. Truman
(Adam) Smith’s Observation
Adam Smith
People of the same trade seldom meet together even for merriment and diversion but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public to raise prices.
(Teddy) Roosevelt’s Law
Theodore Roosevelt
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
Archilochus’s Distinction
Archilochus
The fox knows many things but the hedgehog knows one big thing.
Aristotle’s Observation
Aristotle
The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Bailey’s Rule
Nathaniel Bailey
Threats without power are like powder without ball.
Barnum’s Law
Phineas T. Barnum
There’s a sucker born every minute.
Beaumont and Fletcher’s Law
Francis Beaumont
Beggars must be no choosers.
Boren’s Guidelines for Bureaucrats
James Boren
When in charge ponder; when in trouble delegate; when in doubt mumble.
Bronfman’s Law of Accumulation
Edgar Bronfman
To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable.
Bucy’s Law
Fred Bucy
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
Burns’s Law
Robert Burns
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.
Cameron’s Rule of Etiquette
Simon Cameron
You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
Capone’s Law
Al Capone
You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.
Carothers’s Insight
A. J. Carothers
Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. It cuts off all the oxygen to his brain.
Cavett’s Law
Dick Cavett
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
Cheops’s Law
Anon
No project was ever completed on time and within budget.
Cheshire’s Law of the Social Jungle
Maxine Cheshire
Everything that goes up must come down.
Cleaver’s Law
Eldridge Cleaver
You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.
Colson’s Law
Charles T. Colson
If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Crosby’s Law of Advertising
John Crosby
The first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise - and cultivate the delightfully vague.
Dewdney’s Law of Zero Return
A. K. Dewdney
Return on investment equals loss due to inflation plus taxes . . . which equals zero.
Disraeli’s First Law
Benjamin Disraeli
Never complain and never explain.
Disraeli’s Second Law
Benjamin Disraeli
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
Emerson’s Second Law
Ralph Waldo Emerson
If a man write a better book preach a better sermon or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor tho’ he build his house in the woods the world will make a beaten path to his door.
Falk’s Distinction
Richard R. Falk
Some people in the world are important. All the rest wish they were.
Galbraith’s First Law
John Kenneth Galbraith
The greater the wealth the thicker will be the dirt.
Galbraith’s Second Law
John Kenneth Galbraith
The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.
Gresham’s Law
Thomas Gresham
Bad money drives out good - meaning that debased or underweight coins will drive good money out of circulation as people squirrel away the more valuable coins in mattresses and other hiding places.
Haldeman’s Law
H. R. 'Bob' Haldeman
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s going to be very tough to get it back in.
Herblock’s Law
Herbert 'Herblock' Block
If it’s good, they’ll stop making it.
Herodotus’s Law
Herodotus
Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.
Hippocrates’ Second Law
Hippocrates
Life is short, the art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgment difficult.
Hoyle’s Rule
Edmond Hoyle
When in doubt, take the trick.
Jefferson’s Ukase
Thomas Jefferson
Delay is preferable to error.
Kahn and Egan’s Law
Gus Kahn
The rich get rich and the poor get poorer.
Kahn’s Law
Alfred Kahn
If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.
Kipling’s Law of Blackmail
Rudyard Kipling
If once you have paid him the Dane-geld / You never get rid of the Dane.
Lance’s Law
Bert Lance
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Lardner’s Law
Ring Lardner
Two can live cheaper than one.
Lauder’s Law
Leonard Lauder
When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money. And the person with the money will get some experience.
Leopold’s First Law
Aldo Leopold
A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability, and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise.
Liddell Hart’s Maxims
Basil Liddell-Hart
1. Adjust your end to your means - in effect don’t bite off more than you can chew.
2. Keep your objective always in mind, adapting plans to circumstances, remembering that there are more ways than one of gaining an objective and making sure that attainment of intermediate objectives is worthwhile. “To wander down a side-track is bad but to reach a dead end is worse.”
3. Choose the line (or course) of least expectation i.e. put yourself in your opponent’s shoes and take the line of action that he (or she) is least likely to foresee or forestall.
4. Exploit the line of least resistance - providing of course that it leads toward your ultimate objective.
5. Pursue a line of operation that offers alternate objectives. Your opponent will not be sure which objective to defend most strongly and you will have a better chance of gaining at least one of them - whichever he (or she) guards least - and perhaps of achieving one after the other.
6. Make sure that your plans and dispositions of forces are flexible. Any plan should provide for a next step quickly carried out in case of success or failure or - the more common outcome in war - partial success. (See also Publilius’s Maxims no. 469.)
7. Do not throw your weight into an offensive while your opponent is on guard. Unless the enemy is much inferior in strength, wait until his (or her) power of resistance or evasion is paralysed by disorganisation and demoralisation before making a real attack.
8. Do not renew an attack along the same line or in the same manner after it has once failed. Bringing up reinforcements is not enough since the enemy is likely to do the same and his (or her) success in repulsing you will have strengthened his (or her) morale.
2. Keep your objective always in mind, adapting plans to circumstances, remembering that there are more ways than one of gaining an objective and making sure that attainment of intermediate objectives is worthwhile. “To wander down a side-track is bad but to reach a dead end is worse.”
3. Choose the line (or course) of least expectation i.e. put yourself in your opponent’s shoes and take the line of action that he (or she) is least likely to foresee or forestall.
4. Exploit the line of least resistance - providing of course that it leads toward your ultimate objective.
5. Pursue a line of operation that offers alternate objectives. Your opponent will not be sure which objective to defend most strongly and you will have a better chance of gaining at least one of them - whichever he (or she) guards least - and perhaps of achieving one after the other.
6. Make sure that your plans and dispositions of forces are flexible. Any plan should provide for a next step quickly carried out in case of success or failure or - the more common outcome in war - partial success. (See also Publilius’s Maxims no. 469.)
7. Do not throw your weight into an offensive while your opponent is on guard. Unless the enemy is much inferior in strength, wait until his (or her) power of resistance or evasion is paralysed by disorganisation and demoralisation before making a real attack.
8. Do not renew an attack along the same line or in the same manner after it has once failed. Bringing up reinforcements is not enough since the enemy is likely to do the same and his (or her) success in repulsing you will have strengthened his (or her) morale.
Lincoln’s First Law
Abraham Lincoln
You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.
Malthus’s Law
Thomas Robert Malthus
Population when unchecked increases in a geometrical ratio. Subsistence increases only in an arithmetical ratio.
McNaughton’s Rule
John McNaughton
Any argument worth making within a bureaucracy must be capable of being expressed in a simple declarative sentence that is obviously true once stated.
Mencken’s First Law
H. L. Mencken
No man ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
Micawber’s First Law
Charles Dickens
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
Molière’s Law
Jean Baptiste Poquelin
Things are only worth what you make them worth.
Orwell’s Law of Language
George Orwell
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.
Pareto’s Law
Vilfredo Pareto
Twenty percent of the customers account for eighty percent of the turnover; twenty percent of the components account for eighty percent of the cost etc.
Parkinson’s Law
Cyril Northcote Parkinson
Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
Parkinson’s Second Law
Cyril Northcote Parkinson
Expenditure rises to meet income.
Price’s Law
Anon
If everybody doesn’t want it, nobody gets it.
Runyon’s First Law
Damon Runyon
All life is 6 to 5 against.
Sandburg’s Law
Carl Sandburg
The customer is always right.
Say’s Law
Jean Baptiste Say
Supply creates its own demand.
Shaw’s Conclusion
George Bernard Shaw
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
Spencer’s Law
Herbert Spencer
Every cause produces more than one effect.
The Beckner Effect
Michael Lewis
The common name in the bond market for the thunderous perturbations that frequently follow news flashes from Steve Beckner in the Washington office of Market News Service.
The Dixon Effect
John Allen Paulos
If you make enough predictions a few are bound to be correct. The hits are likely to be remembered, the misses forgotten, and you will win fame and possibly fortune as a forecaster of the future.
The Peter Principle
Laurence J. Peter
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
The Rockefeller Principle
Anon
Never do anything you wouldn’t be caught dead doing.
The Trollope Ploy
Anthony Trollope
To interpret - or willfully misinterpret - a message in the most favourable manner to oneself.
Thoreau’s Third Law
Henry David Thoreau
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready and it may be a long time before they get off.
Urquhart’s Rule of Diplomacy
Brian Urquhardt
Don’t dive into an empty pool.
Ustinov’s Ukase
Peter Ustinov
Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower.
Warshawski’s Rule
V. I. Warshawski
Rule number something or other - never tell anybody anything unless you’re going to get something better in return.
Wycherley’s Law
William Wycherley
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Zimmerman’s Law of Complaints
Anon
Nobody notices when things go right.
(Ben) Franklin’s Laws
Benjamin Franklin
• After three days men grow weary of a wench a guest and weather rainy (Almanack, 1733) Corollary. Fish and visitors smell in three days (Almanack, 1736).
• Where there’s marriage without love there will be love without marriage (Almanack, 1734). And for more about Franklin’s thoughts on marriage see Austen’s First Law.
• Necessity never made a good bargain (Almanack, 1735).
• Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise (Almanack, 1735).
Corollary He that riseth late must trot all day and shall scarce overtake his business at night (Almanack, 1742).
Thurber’s Amendment to Franklin’s Corollary Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy, and wealthy and dead (James Thurber, ‘The Shrike and the Chipmunk’ in Fables for Our Time 1940).
Corollary He that riseth late must trot all day and shall scarce overtake his business at night (Almanack, 1742).
Thurber’s Amendment to Franklin’s Corollary Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy, and wealthy and dead (James Thurber, ‘The Shrike and the Chipmunk’ in Fables for Our Time 1940).
• He that lives upon hope dies farting (Almanack, 1736). Franklin cleaned this up for the last edition of his Almanack, amending the law to “He that lives upon hope will die fasting.”
• Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn in no other (Almanack, 1743).
• There are no gains without pains (Almanack, 1745). Adlai Stevenson reused this when accepting the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination in 1952. See also Friedman’s Law.
• Time is money (Advice to a Young Tradesman, 1748).
Corollary Lost time is never found again (Almanack, 1748).
Corollary Lost time is never found again (Almanack, 1748).
Little strokes fell great oaks (Almanack, 1750).
• A little neglect may breed great mischief - for want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost (Almanack, 1758). This progression sometimes is continued: “and for want of a rider the battle was lost.”
• Half a truth is often a great lie (Almanack, 1758).
• In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes (letter to Jean-Baptiste Le Roy, November 13th 1789).
Addison’s Law
Joseph Addison
He who hesitates is lost.
Agnes Allen’s Law
Agnes Allen
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Aiken’s Solution
George Aiken
Claim victory and retreat.
Anderson’s Law
Robert Anderson
You can make a killing in the theatre, but not a living.
Anthony’s Law of Force
Anthony
Don’t force it get a larger hammer.
Baer’s Quartet
Eugene W. Baer
What’s good politics is bad economics; what’s bad politics is good economics; what’s good economics is bad politics; what’s bad economics is good politics.
Bill Gates’ Rules for Spoiled Teenagers
Editor
Rule 1
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Life is not fair — get used to it!
Rule 2
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
Rule 6
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Buchwald’s Law
Art Buchwald
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Clopton’s Law
Richard Clopton
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
Deek’s Law of Busy Work
Editor
Busy work makes more busy work
Flip Wilson’s Law
Anon
You can’t expect to win the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine.
Ford’s Commandment
Henry Ford
Use it or lose it.
Friedman’s Law
Milton Friedman
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
Lessons from the bail-out
Editor
Was there ever greater proof than the last fortnight’s events for Kahn’s Law: ‘The rich get rich and the poor get poorer’. The world’s bankers who have brought us to this crisis walk away with millions, while ordinary taxpayers foot the bill. No-one should be surprised. As for saving your own skin, the best advice may be Swanson’s. ‘When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.’
Martial’s Law
Anon
Conceal a flaw and the world will imagine the worst.
Quelch’s Laws of Executive Hubris
John Quelch
When taxi drivers know the name of a FTSE boss it’s a bad sign.
Rogers’s Laws
Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else (Illiterate Digest, a collection of his newspaper columns 1924).
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that’s out always looks the best(Illiterate Digest).
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr (Illiterate Digest).
When you straddle a thing, it takes a long time to explain it (Convention Articles, June 29th 1924).
You know, everybody is ignorant only on different subjects (Weekly Articles, August 31st 1924).
Heroing is one of the shortest lived professions there is (Weekly Articles, July 17th 1928).
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight (Daily Telegrams, August 11th 1929).
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up then sell it. If it don’t go up don’t buy it (Daily Telegrams, October 31st 1929). Note the date: this was the Thursday after Black Tuesday, the day of the great Wall Street crash that presaged the Depression of the 1930s.
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way (Daily Telegrams, December 22nd 1929).
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save (letter New York Times, April 29th 1930).
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with nowadays (Daily Telegrams, June 28th 1931).
You can’t make a dollar without taking it from somebody (Weekly Articles, October 2nd 1932).
If I don’t see things your way, well, why should I? (Weekly Articles, December 18th 1932).
Stuff his mouth with gold
Editor
Those clamouring for the government to stop paying Sir Fred Goodwin his £690,000 p.a. pension and, in the words of John Prescott (himself the beneficiary of a handsome taxpayer-funded pension), “let him sue”, shoud remember Louis Brandeis’s law. Goodwin’s greed may be sickening, his lack of shame unfathomable, his hubris inexplicable, but one thing’s for sure: the rule of law is worth a lot more than whatever he receives. Goodwin’s contract should be honoured. Stuff his mouth with gold.
The Advertising Agency Song
Anonymous
When your client’s hopping mad
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory
Add a picture of his factory.
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory
Add a picture of his factory.
The First Law of Expert Advice
Anon
Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
Nobody, not even the President of the United States, can approach too close to a skunk in skunk territory and expect to get anything out of it except a bad smell.
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