this laws contains....
(Babe) Paley’s Law
Barbara 'Babe' Paley
You can never be too skinny or too rich.
(Eleanor) Roosevelt’s Second Law
Eleanor Roosevelt
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.
(Jack) Weinberg’s Credo
Jack Weinberg
Don’t trust anybody over thirty.
(Theodore) Bernstein’s Second Law
Theodore Bernstein
Bad words tend to drive out good ones and when they do the good ones never appreciate in value sometimes maintain their value but most often lose in value whereas the bad words may remain bad or get better.
Behn’s Law
Aphra Behn
Here today, gone tomorrow.
Brecht’s Law
Bertolt Brecht
Eats first, morals after.
Campbell’s Law
Patrick Campbell
It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you don’t do it in public and frighten the horses.
Camus’s Regretful Conclusion
Albert Camus
Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his own face.
Delmas’s Unwritten Law
Delphin Delmas
The right of any red-blooded male to kill anyone who fools around with his wife, daughter, mistress or other female near and dear, and then to escape punishment by pleading temporary insanity - a right rarely extended to women in analogous circumstances.
Duke of Windsor’s Rules
Duke of Windsor
Feuerbach’s Law of Consumption
Ludwig Feuerbach
Man is what he eats.
Firestone’s Law of Forecasting
Anon
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Galbraith’s Second Law
John Kenneth Galbraith
The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.
Gilbert’s Law of Appearances
W. S. Gilbert
Things are seldom what they seem / Skim milk masquerades as cream.
Gummidge’s Law
Anon
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.
Gumperson’s Law
R. F. Gumperson
The contradictory of a welcome probability will assert itself whenever such an eventuality is likely to be most frustrating, or, in other words, the outcome of a given desired probability will be inverse to the degree of desirability.
Horace’s Law
Horace
Once a word has been allowed to escape it cannot be recalled.
Hungerford’s Law
Margaret Hungerford
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Irving’s Acute Observation
Washington Irving
A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use.
Kahn’s Law
Alfred Kahn
If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.
Kelly’s Law
Anon
Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems.
Laver’s Law of Fashion
James Laver
The same costume will be:
- Indecent: 10 years before its time
- Shameless: 5 years before its time
- Outré (daring): 1 year before its time
- Smart- Dowdy: 1 year after its time
- Hideous: 10 years after its time
- Ridiculous: 20 years after its time
- Amusing: 30 years after its time
- Quaint: 50 years after its time
- Charming: 70 years after its time
- Romantic: 100 years after its time
- Beautiful: 150 years after its time
- Shameless: 5 years before its time
- Outré (daring): 1 year before its time
- Smart- Dowdy: 1 year after its time
- Hideous: 10 years after its time
- Ridiculous: 20 years after its time
- Amusing: 30 years after its time
- Quaint: 50 years after its time
- Charming: 70 years after its time
- Romantic: 100 years after its time
- Beautiful: 150 years after its time
Locke’s Law
David H. Locke
One day you’re a peacock, the next day you’re a feather duster.
Loos’s Law
Anita Loos
Gentlemen prefer blondes.
Malthus’s Law
Thomas Robert Malthus
Population when unchecked increases in a geometrical ratio. Subsistence increases only in an arithmetical ratio.
Miller’s Law
Bryan Miller
The quality of food in restaurants is in inverse proportion to the number of signed celebrity photographs on the walls.
Mizner’s Law of Research
Wilson Mizner
If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.
Murphy’s Second Law
Edward A. Murphy
Everything takes longer than you expect.
Murphy’s Second Military Law
Edward A. Murphy
Friendly fire isn’t.
Orwell’s Law of Language
George Orwell
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.
Ovid’s Observation
Ovid
Whether a pretty woman grants or withholds her favours, she always likes to be asked for them.
Paige’s Rules for Living
Leroy 'Satchel' Paige
1. Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.
2. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
3. Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
4. Go very light on the vices such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain’t restful.
5. Avoid running at all times.
6. Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.
2. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
3. Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
4. Go very light on the vices such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain’t restful.
5. Avoid running at all times.
6. Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.
Parker’s Obervation
Dorothy Parker
Men seldom make passes / At girls who wear glasses.
Parkinson’s Third Law
Cyril Northcote Parkinson
Expansion means complexity and complexity decay; or to put it even more plainly - the more complex, the sooner dead (Inlaws and Outlaws 1962). This law often is glossed: Growth leads to complexity and complexity to decay.
Quincy’s Law
Josiah Quincy Jr.
Man passes away; generations are but shadows; there is nothing stable but truth.
Reagan’s Rule
Ronald Reagan
Never sleep with a girl if you’re going to be embarrassed to be seen on the street with her the next day.
Rosten’s Other Laws
Leo Rosten
1. Thinking is harder work than hard work.
2. The love of money is the source of an enormous amount of good; the fact that the good is a by-product of the selfish pursuit of riches has nothing to do with its indisputable value.
3. Most people confuse complexity with profundity; an opaque prose with deep meaning. But the greatest ideas have been expressed clearly.
4. Most men never mature; they simply grow taller (quoted in Saturday ReviewApril 4th 1970).
Rowland’s Law
Helen Rowland
The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.
Runyon’s First Law
Damon Runyon
All life is 6 to 5 against.
Seneca’s Standard
Seneca
It is quality rather than quantity that matters.
Stolley’s Law
Dick Stolley
Younger is better than older, pretty is better than ugly, TV is better than music, music is better than movies, movies is better than sports, anything is better than politics, and p.s. - nothing is better than a dead celebrity.
Temple’s Law
William Temple
No body should make love after forty nor bee in business after fifety.
Tennyson’s Second Law
Alfred Tennyson
In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
The Hart Rule
John Buckley
Anything any politician did with a woman other than his wife prior to May 5 1987 ought to be allowed to go unrevealed.
The Rockefeller Principle
Anon
Never do anything you wouldn’t be caught dead doing.
Updike’s Observation
John Updike
One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore, for instance, and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.
Vertosick’s Rules for Neurosurgeons
Frank T. Vertosick Jr.
1. You ain’t never the same when the air hits your brain.
2. The only minor operation is one that someone else is doing.
3. If the patient isn’t dead, you can always make him worse if you try hard enough.
4. One look at the patient is better than a thousand phone calls from the nurse.
5. Operating on the wrong patient, or doing the wrong side of the body, makes for a very bad day.
Wells’s Virtual Law
H. G. Wells
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.
Wolfe’s Law
Thomas Wolfe
You can’t go home again.
Woollcott’s Law
Alexander Woollcott
Anything good is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
(Mel) Brooks’ Law
Mel Brooks
If you’ve got it flaunt it.
Algren’s Laws
Nelson Algren
Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
Avery’s Observation
Anon
It does not matter if you fall down, as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.
Baruch’s Rule for Determining Old Age
Bernard Baruch
Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Beerbohm’s First Law
Max Beerbohm
Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.
Chamberlain’s Law
Jefferey F. Chamberlain
Everything tastes more or less like chicken.
Davis’s Basic Law of Medicine
Robert David
Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes.
Emerson’s Insight
Ralph Waldo Emerson
That which we call sin in others is experimentation for us.
Fischer’s Finding
Joseph Fischer
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, the chances are you won’t either.
Flintstone’s Teachings
Thomas Fields-Meyer
1. Never underestimate the strength of a child.
2. Never bet more than you have.
3. Wealthy oil men drive big cars.
4. Pets make excellent companions.
5. Never put Superglue in a bowling ball.
6. It’s possible to have pollution-free cars.
7. Never leave a child unattended.
8. Household appliances have minds of their own.
9. Never put too many items on a drive-in tray.
10. Car-pooling can work.
11. It’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.
12. The little guy can beat the system.
13. Good stone walls make good neighbours.
14. Expectant fathers do crazy things.
15. Friendship is important.
Gove’s Law of Canapés
Michael Gove
Food consumed standing up always has ten times the caalorific intake of food consumed sitting down.
Martin’s Law
Dean Martin
You’re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.
The Law of Raspberry Jam
Alvin Toffler
The wider any culture is spread, the thinner it gets.
The Loftness Scale of Bodily Pleasures
Tedd Loftness
Nothing is so overrated as sex and so underrated as a good bowel movement.
Wilde’s Other Laws
Oscar Wilde
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal (The Critic as Artist 1891).
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about (The Picture of Dorian Gray 1891).
A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies (Ibid.).
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it (Ibid.).
If one tells the truth, one is sure sooner or later to be found out (Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young 1894).
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his (Ibid.).
In matters of great importance, style not sincerity is the vital thing (Ibid.).
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